


Staying

by EllanaSan



Series: Tumblr Prompts [20]
Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Post Mockingjay, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-05
Updated: 2014-03-05
Packaged: 2018-01-14 16:16:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1272931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllanaSan/pseuds/EllanaSan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>original prompt : Post mocking jay period, 5 years since Haymitch and the 2 victors permanently left the capitol and Effie lost contact with them. Effie gets a wedding invitation to district 12 via Heavensbee, she meets Katniss and her baby at the train station. When Effie asked about Peeta, the answer was the boy was busy helping the groom. Enlightened, Effie understands that she was invited to Haymitch wedding. Although hurt, she decides to attend the wedding only to present her congratulations and well wishes, and realized that the bride looked similar to her (Elizabeth Banks appearance)... and you can go on from here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Staying

There was nothing to be anxious about, Effie mused, when she got out of the train on District Twelve platform, except there was everything to be anxious about. It had been five years since she had last heard from anyone from Twelve, it was no one fault really. The children had had to look after each other after the rebellion and she hadn’t expected Haymitch to stay in contact with her… Too many bad memories on both sides. They might have been as friendly as an escort and a mentor could be, they might have been attracted to each other and even have fallen into bed more than once, but she had never entertained any illusions about them. She often missed him though. They had left each other on a bad note after the rebellion. They had always fought but.. Never like that. She had lost count of the number of times she had picked up the phone only to drop it in fear of rejection. She would be glad to see him, though. It was the perfect excuse.  

“Are you alright?” Plutarch asked her, lowering her case off the train, his own bag flung on his shoulder.

“Yes.” She forced a bright smile on her lips. “Still not telling me whose wedding we’re attending?”

Plutarch had been very mysterious about all of this. All he had said was that he needed a date – as friends, of course, she could never think of Plutarch as anything but that – for a wedding in Twelve and that she really should come with him. If he thought she hadn’t noticed him growing more and more uncomfortable as the train got closer to Twelve, he was wrong.

“Ah, yes… About that…” Plutarch cleared his throat. “I should warn you…”

“Effie?” The voice was disbelieving and perhaps slightly anxious but Effie placed it right away, even if it had been years.

She turned around and faced Katniss with a sincere smile, a smile that only grew when she noticed the baby babbling in his stroller. Her anxiety slipped away and she hugged the girl – woman, now, but forever a girl to her – with delight. She asked to be introduced to the pretty baby, noticing Katniss was looking at her with wide eyes, probably because she wasn’t used to seeing her without wig and heavy make-up but those were a thing of the past in the Capitol, now.

“I didn’t know you were coming.” Katniss was smiling but still looked a tad… nervous. “Not that I’m not glad to see you! But… I thought I was picking up Plutarch, nobody told me… Does anyone know about this?”

Plutarch didn’t seem particularly comfortable. “Not really.”

Effie frowned. “Is there a problem?” They exchanged a look but neither of them ventured an answer. She felt very ill-at-ease, she was missing something important. “Where’s Peeta?”

Katniss seemed to relax at that. “Oh, with the groom. He’s been there since last night’s stag party.” She rolled her eyes. “You know how Haymitch is.”

Groom. Haymitch. _Haymitch was the groom_. It explained everything from Plutarch’s weird behavior to Katniss’ mixed welcome.

“Yes. Yes, I actually do.” It came frostier than she intended but Katniss didn’t seem to mind. “Maybe, I should…” But she fell silent before she could suggest climbing back on the train. That would be cowardly. Not to mention awkward once Haymitch learned she came all the way to Twelve only to leave immediately. She would have thought, for all their differences, he would have called her to tell her the news himself. It was only proper, they had a history after all. Their relationship might not have been a love story but there _had been_ a story there nonetheless and… He had obviously moved on better than she had.

“I am sorry.” Plutarch said, noticing her unease. “I was afraid you wouldn’t come if I told you the truth.”

“You didn’t _tell_ _her_?” Katniss glared at Plutarch and Effie was strongly reminded of the girl on fire roaming the arena with her bow. “What were you _thinking_?” The baby started crying and she took her out of the stroller to cradle her gently against her chest. Motherhood wasn’t something Effie would have associated with Katniss but it softened her somehow, when she spoke again her voice was lower but she kept on glaring daggers at him. “When I told you ‘please, do something’, I didn’t quite mean _that_.”

“Desperate times calls for desperate measures.” Plutarch said, defensively.

“What are you both talking about?” Effie asked, completely lost.

Katniss seemed to debate with herself and then sighed softly. “Why don’t we go to my house? You can rest before the ceremony and… we can talk.” She glanced at Plutarch angrily. “You can find your own way to Haymitch’s. Just for the record, if this ends badly I’m never forgiving you.”

The way she said it, Effie got the impression it could only end badly. “I’m not about to disrupt the wedding.” She felt it was necessary to say it. Katniss might be under the impression that she had come to… do something crazy but she would never do that. If Haymitch was happy… “If you think my presence isn’t… appropriate, I’m sure I can find something to occupy myself with until the next train. Or I could even babysit for you and Peeta while you’re at the wedding.” She wouldn’t mind getting to know the baby. In fact, she would rather take care of the baby than go to the wedding.

“Oh, no, Effie, I didn’t mean it like that…” Katniss sounded sorry now, she put the baby back into the stroller. “I’m glad to see you and I’m sure the others will be too.” They walked in silence for a while, Plutarch made several attempts at small talks but they all fell short. It wasn’t until he had left and she let them in into her house that Katniss spoke again. “I’m sorry we didn’t keep in touch. At first, it was difficult to think about _all_ _that_ and then… ”

The house looked like a perfect match between Katniss and Peeta. There were photos on the walls, some paintings she knew to be Peeta’s… It was neat but with a lived in feel to it. She liked it.

“Life goes on.” Effie smiled. “Don’t worry. I understand. I felt the same way. I know it can’t compare to what you went through but after the months I spent in detention…” She let that train of thought die right there right then. “I understand.”

Katniss looked at her, then, _really_ looked at her like most people did when they were about to commiserate or say how sorry they were for her, but she didn’t. She only showed her to the living-room and asked her if she wanted something to drink. It was silly but Effie felt proud of her good manners. It felt like a huge deal when Katniss finally suggested she held the baby while she went to get them tea. She understood the girl didn’t trust a lot of people with her child and she felt strangely moved by the gesture. The little girl, of course, was an absolute angel and she was already in love with her. She looked like Peeta but she had Katniss’ hair.

“Do you think I should go to the wedding?” she asked honestly, after Katniss put a smoking mug in front of her on the coffee table. “I want to offer my best wishes, of course, but if you think Haymitch is going to be uncomfortable with me there…” She wished Katniss said he would because she desperately wanted an excuse to get out of there.

“Do you?” Katniss retorted with her familiar abruptness. It was good to hear her speak like that. It was a sign things hadn’t changed that much. “Want to offer you best wishes, that is. Are you really okay with Haymitch getting married?” Katniss looked crossed, protective even.

Effie lowered her eyes on the babbling baby in her lap. “I don’t think it’s my place to have an opinion on that.”

“Do you still love him? Have you even ever loved him at all?” That was Katniss in a shell : no diplomacy and no manners. Effie didn’t know how aware the girl was of the true nature of her relationship with Haymitch, clearly she knew more than she had in the past but love had nothing to do with what Effie had shared with Haymitch. Love had never been a factor in their relationship, he was from the District and she was from the Capitol, love had never been an option.

“So, who is this woman who managed the impossible?” Her voice was bright and delighted, like it always was when she needed to hide how miserable she felt. She kept her eyes on the precious baby girl, picking up her pacifier every time she threw it on the couch. “I didn’t think Haymitch was the marrying type.”

“Her name is Helia.” Katniss sighed. “She’s from Seven, her first husband was from the Seam, they met during the rebellion so she followed him here, but… He died about a year ago.” That was awful, how could she even hate someone with such a tragic past? District Seven… As soon as she made the connection in her mind, she imagined the bride-to-be with Johanna Mason’s face. “She’s very nice.”

There was something in Katniss’ voice that made Effie grin. “You don’t like her, do you?”

The girl studied her over the rim of her mug. “I liked her well enough until they started seing each other.” Katniss said. “I had a huge fight over the wedding with Haymitch. They’ve been dating for only two months. They’re rushing into this for all the wrong reasons. She’s still grieving and he…” She let out a sigh and switched topic unexpectedly. “Why didn’t you call him? All those years, why…”

“We had a fallout.” She would have left it at that, what was the point of reliving the past now that he was getting married? But, of course, Katniss wasn’t going to let it drop.

“He asked you to come back to Twelve with him and you refused.” The baby got fussy and Katniss instinctively got up to release Effie of her daughter. She walked back and forth in the room, rocking her soothingly. “He said that much but that’s all I got out of him.”

Effie took her tea, it was cool enough now, so she sipped it slowly, musing about what to say and what to keep to herself. Obviously, Katniss knew most of what had happened between them. She didn’t know why Haymitch would have told her, it seemed ridiculous to do that now when their relationship had always mostly been kept a secret. “He asked me to leave my home behind to follow him to a place where people would probably never accept me. I had just been released from prison I wanted to feel safe, he made me feel pressured. I would have been tempted to say yes if he had given me a good reason to do so but all he had to say was that he felt guilty over what happened to me. I didn’t need guilt. I needed…” She had needed love. She still needed love.

Katniss seemed to understand though. “You needed time to heal.”

Effie smiled her favorite fake smile. “Precisely.”

Katniss opened her mouth to say more but the door slammed and Peeta’s uncharacteristically angry voice shot out through the house. “He’s adamant he’s going through with it! Plutarch just got here so I left, this is all so stupid I swear! I should try talking to Helia, maybe she will be more…” Peeta froze on the living-room threshold when he saw her. “Oh, my god, I’m sorry I didn’t know you…” He stopped right then and seemed to do a double-take at her. “ _Effie_?”

She bolted to her feet to hug him, happy to see him. She had missed the children, she hadn’t realized how much until then. “Surprise!” she laughed, in a sing-song voice. “I’m Plutarch’s date for the wedding.” Peeta went rigid in her embrace and she let go of him.

“It’s great to see you, I’ve missed you.” He smiled at her and genuinely meant it, she knew. But then he turned to Katniss and his face grew more serious. “Was that your idea?”

“All Plutarch’s.” Katniss rolled her eyes, still rocking the baby. “This is a disaster in the making, I don’t need you to tell me.”

She frowned. “Could someone please explain me what is going on? Because I swear I am not here to cause trouble and everyone acts as if…”

“No one believe you will cause trouble. Trouble will come on its own, I think.” Peeta cut her off, before smiling. “And it _is_ really good to see you. It’s been too long.” She felt a little pacified by his calm reassurance because she knew, of them all, Peeta was the one who never lied. “Now…” He turned to Katniss again. “Plutarch didn’t say a thing about Effie being here. How are we playing this exactly?”

Katniss shrugged as much as you could while carrying a baby. “I’m not even sure he knows what he’s doing. And even then… Haymitch is so _bloody_ stubborn…”

“No cursing in front of the baby.” Peeta reminded her with a playful smile. “And you’re one to talk.”

Something was going on, something she didn’t understand and it was starting to make her feel angry. She hated being kept in the dark since the rebellion. She hated not knowing. Not knowing was dangerous, she had come to learn. “Right. I think I will take a look around before the ceremony. I need to stretch my legs.” The children tried to protest, to apologize but she waved them off with a smile and a promise she would see them at the wedding.

She felt distinctly relieved when she stepped out of the house, free somehow. She wasn’t fond of closed spaces since her time in jail, even in her apartment she always kept a window open, so she hadn’t particularly enjoyed to find herself stuck in a room where people were obviously trying to keep something from her. What were they so afraid of? Katniss thought the wedding was rushed and Peeta obviously agreed but… Was that why Plutarch had brought her there? So she could talk Haymitch out of this? Because this was stupid. She hadn’t talked to Haymitch in years and he had never listened to her in the first place. For her to tell him what not to do was the way to ensure he would do it.

She walked down the streets in the approximate direction of the Justice Building, or of where she remembered the Justice Building to be, in any case. It might have moved around in the rebuilding. She didn’t even _want_ to be there. She would have been happy to remain oblivious to Haymitch getting married. _He_ didn’t even want her there she was sure. She should go. She really should.

She was dying to see the bride. The woman who convinced Haymitch Abernathy to marry him two months in their relationship would necessarily be a force to reckon with. She must be beautiful too. Haymitch always had an eye for the pretty girls, it had made her mad with jealousy more than once.

The Justice Building was where it had always been, in front of the big square. Groups of people were already gathering around, probably waiting for the groom and bride, some glanced at her but she let the looks slid. She would always be an escort in the eyes of some people. She went inside, intending to have a look around, see what had changed and what had not, trying to make time go faster. Echoes of laughter greeted her once she was deep in the building and it fekt so out of place – she had never heard anyone laugh in this place before – that she followed it to a little room. The door was open so she peered inside, not very well-mannered that but…

There was the bride, unmistakable because of the long white dress, surrounded by two laughing young girls. Helia wasn’t laughing, she wasn’t even smiling, Effie could see her face in the mirror in front of her and she looked sad and lost. But that wasn’t the worst. That wasn’t what made her gasp so audibly everyone in the room turned to face her, no… Helia had wavy strawberry blond hair craftily pinned on the top of her head, blue eyes, sharp cheekbones… They certainly weren’t twins but they could have passed for sisters. The girls were gaping at them, obviously picking up on the similarities of their feature but Helia didn’t look very surprised.

“You must be Effie.” Helia said very calmly, like it was the only logical explanation. “I thought Katniss was exaggerating but she really wasn’t, was she?”

Effie searched for something to say but, really… What was there to say? They looked so much alike… Haymitch certainly had a type. She settled for something neutral and non-threatening because Helia obviously knew about her – had Haymitch made it a matter of public concern at some point? – and if their position had been reversed she wouldn’t have liked an old flame of her fiancé coming back on their wedding day, all the more so if she had been her spitting image. “I just wanted to offer my congratulations.”

“Oh, I don’t think congratulations are in order just yet.” Helia smiled at her not unkindly. “You’re here now.” Was Effie imagining the relief in her eyes? What was there to be relieved about she wondered? “Have you come back for him?”

“I… _No_.” Why did everybody think she was going to go crazy and try to stop this wedding? “I can assure you I have no intention to spoil your big day. My apologies, this situation is awkward, I shouldn’t have come.”

She turned around but she couldn’t take two steps in the corridor that Helia’s hand closed on her arm. “Do you love him? Because you should know he still loves you.” Effie concluded right there, right then that everyone was mad in District Twelve. What sort of woman exactly would tell a stranger that her future husband was in love with her? “He calls me Effie when he’s too drunk to remember. He loves you still. Always will, I suppose.”

She opened and closed her mouth, unable to make sense of the situation. “Why are you marrying him, then?”

Helia smiled this sad smile of hers. “I think it’s safe to say the wedding is off. I don’t think he will let you go once he sees you again, you’re his biggest regret.”

It was disturbing to hear her talk about Haymitch like she knew him better than she did. Well… Obviously she must. She was about to commit to a life with him after all, but… Effie had always been the one who knew him best. _Always_. Anyone had been aware of that back then. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

“I don’t understand.” she freely admitted. “You don’t seem upset.” And if Helia wasn’t upset to potentially lose Haymitch then Katniss was right and this wedding was a mistake. Haymitch deserved someone who loved him fully, who would fight for him, not…

“Because I’m not. That’s just the thing, isn’t it?” Helia shook her head. “Everyone thought this was a bad idea and we didn’t listen but… Don’t you see? They were right. We’re both marrying ghosts and it’s not fair to either of us.”

Effie didn’t quite know what to say. She thought she would have hated this woman, truth was, she felt bad for her. She obviously was still grieving for her husband and had gotten caught up in everything. It happened more easily than one would think. Effie had had her fair share of bad decisions taken on desperate whims.

“Tell him there’s no hard feelings, will you?” Helia said, before pushing her slightly further down in the corridor. “Everything is for the best.”

How she found her way out of the Justice Building and up the slope to the late Victors Village, Effie would never know, but she did. By the time she had regained her bearings, she was at his door. She didn’t knock but let herself in, feeling strangely like she was walking right into the past. She hadn’t been back there since the Quarter Quell Reaping, it was strange and unpleasant, she had to keep reminding herself she wasn’t an escort anymore. The house was better kept than it had been : not exempt of a faint smell of liquor but certainly cleaner.

“Dammit, Plutarch!” The curse came from upstairs. She froze and closed her eyes. Hearing his voice was actually painful, like a fist clenching her heart to the point of rupture. “I’m sober enough, I’m dressed, and I _am_ marrying her whatever you or the boy say, so can we get a move on with that tie before we’re late to my own bloody wedding?”

She went up the stairs and straight to his bedroom, she stopped on the doorstep. Haymitch didn’t look better or worse than the last time she had seen him. Older, certainly, but so was she. He was wearing a grey suit and was desperately trying to knot his tie in front of his broken mirror. It was a good choice, grey looked good on him. Plutarch noticed her first and fell silent which only prompted Haymitch to glance her way.

“Didn’t you say it was bad luck to see the bride before the wedding or something?“ he grumbled before looking back at his reflection. “I thought I was late. Why aren’t you wearing your…”

The very moment it downed on him she wasn’t Helia was obvious. His slightly shaky hands froze on his tie, his whole body tense, she could have sworn he had stopped breathing. She couldn’t blame him, she was also holding her breath. She could feel Plutarch’s concerned stare but she had eyes only for Haymitch.

“Effie.” He breathed out her name like a prayer. Or a curse.

“Haymitch.” It was soft and unsure.

Their eyes met and it was there again, _the_ _tension_. It almost was too much for her. She wanted to run to him but at the same time she wanted to run away. She wanted to tell him she had missed him and they’d been such fools to waste so much time but at the same time she was desperate to stay silent because each time they opened their mouth they always ended up fighting.

“Right.” Plutarch clasped his hands, breaking the moment. “I will just see myself out and tell the others the wedding’s off, shall I?”

“I think Helia already did that.” Effie bit her lip and stared at the floor.

“Yeah.” Haymitch snorted. “Of course, she did.” He ripped the tie off his neck and threw it on the bed, before pointing an accusing finger at Plutarch. “That was _low_ and you had _no right_. Get out of my house.”

“You were making a mistake.” Plutarch shrugged. “You were being a coward, Haymitch, settling for the easy thing, and that’s not who you are.”

“I am truly sorry, Haymitch.” Effie said, before Haymitch could take a step toward Plutarch. A fight between the two wouldn’t end well. “I didn’t mean to…”

“Didn’t you?” His glare went from Plutarch to her in a matter of seconds. “Then why are you here? Did you just come to ruin my life before taking the next train? Was there an empty slot on your schedule and you thought ‘ _oh, why not? It’s been too long since I bloody grated on Haymitch’s nerves’_?”

“She didn’t know. I didn’t tell her.” Plutarch cut in. “If you want to hold someone responsible…”

“I’m holding you responsible alright.” Haymitch growled. “Out. _Now_.”

Plutarch glanced at her with worry but she just shook her head to signal him he could leave her. “I will be at Peeta’s and Katniss’” he said, before staring hard at Haymitch. “Don’t hurt her.”

“Right, because it doesn’t usually happen the other way around.” he mumbled but Plutarch chose not to answer.

It was odd, to say the least, to be alone with Haymitch again. That hadn’t happened since…

“So? What are you doing here?” he asked casually enough, taking off the jacket of his suit. “Besides ruining my wedding day, that is.” He threw the jacket on the bed, on top of the tie.

“I don’t know.” She figured it would be better to go for the truth. “Plutarch asked me to be his date at a wedding. I didn’t know it would be yours. You could have told me.”

“What for?” he shrugged, turning to face her. “Why would you care?”

“I would have cared.” She crossed her arms defensively. “I _care_. Very much so.”

“Well, I don’t.” he snapped.

It hurt but she saw the lie underneath. He was trying to protect himself against her. Like she would ever do something to hurt him… “Is that why you were going to marry my doppelganger then? Because you don’t care at all about me? Is that why you call her Effie when you’re drunk? Is that why…”

“Stop that.” he growled, coming closer to her. “I hear that shit from Katniss all the time, I don’t need it from you too. Helia knew what she was in for, as did I. Do you think she actually loves me? She wants her husband, I want…” He closed his eyes and turned his back to her. “We were lonely, why not be lonely together? What’s wrong with a bit of pretending?”

It was both heartbreaking and twisted. “Why didn’t you call _me_ , Haymitch? That was all you had to do… I would have come to you, I would have…”

“Why didn’t you?” he roared, turning to face her again. “I’m not the one who left you, sweetheart, don’t put this one on me.”

She instinctively took a step back. She wasn’t afraid, that wasn’t the problem, but hearing him calling her _sweetheart_ … It had been years and it still tugged at her heartstrings. “You were asking too much and not giving enough.” she said. “You wanted to take care of me to assuage your guilt.”

“Bullshit.” he snorted. “Is that what you’ve been telling yourself all these years? Because that’s a lie and you know it. Truth is you loved your little Capitol too much, even after everything, and you…”

“I was _afraid_!” She couldn’t take that anymore. “Why is it so hard for you to understand that? I was afraid and all you gave me was guilt, guilt and more guilt.”

“Yeah, well, sorry for feeling guilty over you being tortured.” Haymitch sneered. “Sorry for all the sleepless night imagining what they were doing to you and knowing it was my fault for not getting you out of there sooner. Sorry for spending months waiting for Plutarch to tell me you were dead. Sorry for wanting to keep you close to me when everything was finally over. _Sorry_.” He spat the last word with such bitterness she felt herself tearing up a little.

“I know you felt bad about what happened but I wasn’t something for you to fix your guilt.” She could feel her hands starting to shake, her breathing was quickening too. It had been months since her last panic attack.

“Stop bringing everything back to guilt!” He stepped closer until he was inches from her and it was too much. Everything was too much. She wasn’t ready. “Yes, I felt guilty but that wasn’t the whole story and you know it. Guilt was _your_ excuse. You know why I wanted you to come with me. You knew back then and you didn’t want to acknowledge it or you didn’t feel the same way I don’t have a fucking clue! But stop saying this was my fault because you were the one who said I shouldn’t bother coming back.”

“I never said that.” It was weak because it might have been true. She couldn’t remember the whole fight, it was blurred and buried deep in her memory because it had been so _painful_ afterwards. She had felt so alone. She still felt alone most of the time.

“What was I supposed _to_ _do_ , Effie?” he asked, still advancing on her so she had no choice but to step back until the wall forbid any retreat.

“You left me.” she accused him even if she was aware she was being unfair. “ _Again_.”

“I _had_ to take the kids back, they wouldn’t have let them go otherwise.” he growled. “I had no choice and you knew that. _You_ chose to stay. _You_ left me, not the other way around.”

“You never said why you wanted me to come back to Twelve with you.” She tried to shove him away because he was too close and it was making her confused but he stood his ground. Even when she started to slam her fist on his chest, he stood his ground. “You said it would be better for me and for the children but you _never said why you wanted_ _me_ to go back with you!”

“Everybody knew it.” He grabbed her fists in his hands and pinned them against his chest. “ _You_ knew it.”

“You never said it.” she hissed. “ _I_ told you. I told you before the Quell Reaping and you _laughed in my face_.”

Any trace of anger left his face then. “I thought I was about to go back into the arena. I didn’t want to hear you loved me, sweetheart. I didn’t want to leave you behind. That was the icing on the bloody cake, as far as I was concerned. I already did that once, remember, didn’t end well for the girl.”

“I was _not_ a girl.” She struggled to free her hands but he only tightened his grip. “I didn’t want your guilt and I didn’t want your pity. All I wanted was for you to love me… I would have followed you to the end of the Earth if you had just said that.” She felt exhausted all of a sudden and she slumped against his chest, finally yielding to that thirst for his touch.

He let go of her hands to place his on her shoulders. “Everybody knew I loved you. Scratch that, everybody knows I _love_ you, I’m the fucking joke of the District.” She was trapped between him and the wall but she didn’t feel as overwhelmed as she thought she would. He would never hurt her, not physically at least, and she trusted him even then so she leaned against him, breathing in the faint smell of liquor mixed with soap that was so distinctively _Haymitch_ it made her want to cry. He put his arms around her, a little warily, but once she did the same he clang to her like someone was going to come in and try to tear her away from him. “Five years and I couldn’t forget you. How ridiculous is that?”

“Less than you marrying someone who looks like me.” she replied, clutching at his shirt. “Less than me thinking about you everyday but being too much of a coward to pick up the phone or take a train. I thought about doing it sometimes, but… I didn’t know what was worse : loosing you or never having you in the first place. If I had come all the way here just to see that you didn’t have any feelings for me at all, that all those years were just about sex…”

“Come on, you cannot think that.” He pressed his cheek against the side of her head. “You knew.”

“I didn’t.” she refuted. “You never said _anything_. I knew you cared for me, that’s it, and I wanted more.”

“Did you find more somewhere else?” he asked, carefully.

“There is nowhere else.” she sighed, nestling her head on his shoulder. She had tried, after he had left. She had dated a few men who liked her well enough, loved her even maybe, but she couldn’t bring herself to feel anything for them, so she had given up on that. “There is nobody else but you. Never will be.” Because if five years had not been enough, she was sure she wouldn’t find someone else in her entire lifetime. Nobody would understand her like Haymitch did. They had been through too much together.

“Are you staying, then?” His embrace was so unyielding she didn’t think a negative answer to that question was possible.

“Perhaps.” She closed her eyes. “But five years is a long time. We’re different people, now, Haymitch, what if…”

“Do you love me?” How many times would she be asked that question today?

“Yes.” Despite everything or because of everything, maybe. She did.

“Good.” He kissed the side of her throat softly, his stubble rasped against her skin. “Then, it doesn’t matter. You stay, we annoy each other to death, we fight, we make up. We were always very good at making up.” By that he meant sex but she couldn’t deny him that point. “You stay.”

“I stay.” She agreed. She could try. They could try.

He kissed her then. Effie didn’t know when their last kiss had been. She thought it was sometimes before the arena exploded, before all hell broke loose… He had kissed her goodbye but she had been half-asleep. It had been quick, almost an afterthought. That kiss was anything but quick. It was slow and hungry and desperate. It was longing and hope and relief.

It was love.


End file.
